He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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