Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
