ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it's like iHOP with fire
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize