I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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