yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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