U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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