We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
