This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
