is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
