please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
