I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
