Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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