The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
