not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize