I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
