Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
