Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
operation have a gay friend backfired
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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