I think scott just propositioned me for sex
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
