Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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