i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
