Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
In the future we'll all be gay
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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