Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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