remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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