Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
