OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
