Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do vagina's smell?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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