Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have tasted many bathrooms
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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