genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
