Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
