I wannas sexs uuuuu
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
