Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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