I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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