Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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