There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Enjoy the penises
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
