i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
