i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
