jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
