I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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