Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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