Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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