official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
