Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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