just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
