be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dignity is for republicans.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize