Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
nutella sex= disaster
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize