So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
