Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
