Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
