well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
