i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
