just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
