is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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