YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize