New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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