Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
too bad you live with your parents still
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This gyro tastes like lonliness
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
