I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
