We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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