Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Drake has all the answers
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
