It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish i was in the wii world.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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