I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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