I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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