8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
