I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
