My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
