I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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